Vipassana, February 2019

In February 2019 I decided to take a Vipassana course. I had a few reasons for it.

The first was my curiosity about the different kinds of Buddhism in the world. I was already immersed in the Zen Buddhism that came from Japan, but I had a feeling I wanted to see what other forms of Buddhism looked like. During that period I’d also had a light touch of Thai Buddhism, and a more extensive experience of Tibetan Buddhism — at Tushita Monastery, and in general during my time in India. So I wanted to see what the Buddhism that came from Burma looked like too.

I also felt this was an opportunity to put myself through tougher conditions than the retreats I’d done before. Another thing that drew me was a wish I had to step away from ordinary life, to become a monk — something in me was drawn to that, and I saw Vipassana as a chance to experience more of it.

In Vipassana you’re not allowed to talk, not allowed to write, not allowed to make eye contact with anyone. You eat once or twice a day, depending on whether it’s your first course or not, and the rest of the time you simply meditate. The first three days center on concentration meditation — returning again and again to the sensation of breath at the nostrils. After three days you move on to body-scanning meditation, where you scan the body over and over, simply aware of the sensations in it without dwelling on them.

For me, Vipassana helped me understand where my heart really was, and what the right form of Buddhism was for me. I understood that the Zen Buddhism I’d encountered as part of “Pseudharma,” and my teacher Yuval Ido Tal, were the right path for me. I felt that the gentleness and the emphasis on zazen — mainly of the shikantaza kind — were the right practice for me.

The retreat was very challenging for me, and at the same time full of a sense of accomplishment and pride that I’d done it. One thing I remember is that about two weeks after the Vipassana course I quit my job — so it had further consequences for my life.